How Not to Be a Dick This Festival Season

Words by Dani Ran, Illustrations by Josh Cook

Tis’ the season of warm tinnies, sweaty tents, and bad decisions, better known as festival season. For most, festivals are the perfect way to escape the extremities of modern metropolitan life, where we can pretty much switch off and run around a field with our mates, granted we don’t lose them in a crowd only to never be reunited due to minimal phone service.

While festivals are often great at allowing us to forget social structures and live by our own rules in a drug and alcohol-fuelled liberal fantasy land for one or two extended weekends a year, it’s important to remember to not leave ~all~ of your social etiquette in the city. Here are a few ways you can avoid being a dick this festival season.

If you’re tall, don’t pretend you’re not.
Standing behind a 6’4” human pillar is not ideal

Please, for the love of god, ditch the bindi. 
And all forms of cultural appropriation for that matter

Don’t throw cups of piss.
Literally, no one finds that funny

Unless your mate is named “Allan” or “Steve”, ban those words for your vocab.
It’s not Reading & Leeds festival 2013 anymore

Only crowd surf if you know what you’re doing.
“I love being kicked in the head!” – Said no one ever

Stop going on about how high you are/have been/are going to get.
No one gives a shit about you £40 gram of coke

Does this really need a caption? 

Don’t be ~that~ underprepared mate.
There’s only so many things your pals can lend you before they start to lose their sanity

Understand that not every live performance warrants a mosh pit. 
Are you really gonna start a mosh pit at a Calvin Harris DJ set, are you really?

Just because you’re at a festival doesn’t mean the law (and morals) don’t apply